The thing he remembered most about her was her long blonde locks of hair that draped down her back and sat propped upon her shoulders. The way it caught the rays of sunrise, glowing with an almost pink hue against the morning lights and long shadows. He could remember how much his father loved her hair and nearly cried when she had cut it to her shoulders, it used to be longer at one point- but those memories were fuzzy now. The recollection of his father twisting the ringlets of gold in his fingers as he held her in an embrace, whispering little sweet nothings into her ear before he’d go off to work and leave her with the baby.
He could also remember her eyes vividly; he could never let those gems slip from his memory for they were also his eyes- light blues with a dark blue splotch circling the iris. They were like staring into a swirling pool of sky coloured acrylic paints; The way that they lit up once meeting her sweet little butterscotch haired baby who greeted her with excited squeals.
He’d been with Annie when it happened. Sitting on the lounge floor, playing with his building blocks while in his own little world. He could remember hearing the phone ring and his auntie getting up from the piano to go answer it, feeling her steps against the floor; she was about as old as his mum at the time. Mid-twenties, slender, and a wrinkle free face with her brunette hair in a taut bun atop her head. Little Shiloh couldn't help but watch with lively and cheery eyes, a cheeky little grin pushed up against his chubby tot cheeks; He thought that absolutely everything was beautiful, but nothing was as beautiful as his mommy- though his auntie came close.
His mum...Lilith meant the world to him, and the following minutes would shatter that world.
The tone in Annie’s voice gradually became broken and shaky as she held the receiver to her ear, her breath hitching as she fought off tears and tried to reply, but she only dropped the receiver and muttered, “I need to sit down.” Minutes passed as he held her head in her hands and tried to steady her breathing, and when she finally looked up- she gave the confused little boy the saddest look he probably would ever see.
Her voice was calm when she finally spoke up, though her words were far from, “I’m sorry baby… your mommy and daddy aren't coming home.”
It was years before he was actually told why though, why his parents never came home, never held him, were never there for him to grow up. And the only explanation that he’d ever gotten form his aunt was,
“They were on a train track and the engine stalled.” Shi concluded.
There was a long pause before Shiloh re-situated himself in Casey’s arms, rolling onto his side as he pressed his cheek into his lover’s bare chest- wetting his lips, “And what hurts most of all to this point is just... I can’t remember the sound of her voice.”
Casey was absolutely speechless. The story that was laid out before him broke his heart into a million pieces. He didn't know much about love, but he couldn't imagine not being able to say goodbye to the person you love. It seemed like torture. He guessed that the grief was both similar to how it felt when his own mom left and completely different at the same time. A tear rolled down his cheek. Luckily it was the cheek facing away from Shiloh though; he didn't want his precious orphan to see him crying. "I... can't imagine..." Casey uttered softly.
In that moment, he wished so very much that he could do something to bring Shiloh's parents back for him. He wanted nothing more to make his little Shiloh happy. The feeling of hopelessness overtook him, as there was simply nothing he could do.
The boy just gave Casey a tight squeeze before lifting his chin up to place a fat kiss against Casey’s jaw. “But I have you now, don’t I?” He whispered softly, fingers tracing the back of Casey’s neck and to his messy morning air.
"Of course." uttered the tall raven, "You will always have me."
He pulled Shiloh into his arms and hugged him tightly, wondering if the Russian could hear the sadness in the ill beat of his broken heart. However, he said nothing else, because to open his throat and speak would bring on more tears, and he simply couldn't let Shiloh see that he was crying.
Long minutes of silence passed as the two boys cuddled beneath the sheets of Shiloh’s bed, warmth emanated throughout the space with the noon light bathing the orange walls. Both Shiloh and Casey were struck with sniffles and pink noses, though Shiloh was struck with a little more severe of consequences since he was the one who took a dip in the frozen over lake. But as long as he had his Casey body pillow, he knew he’d be more than fine.
As the two lay there, Casey thought. He thought about the secret he had kept from Shiloh this whole time; the lies, the deceit. And he felt absolutely terrible. Not only had he been cheating on Shiloh, but he kept everything from him. He didn't deserve that kind of dishonesty, especially since he pretty much just told his life story to Casey. "Babe..." the raven muttered, "Can I tell you something?"
The pinky lifted his face up and gave Casey a curious look, which only made him look silly with his pink nose and cheeks.
“Of course you can, silly. What is it?”
Normally, Casey would have giggled at the silly look on the boy's face, but he was in far too solemn a mood. This was the last thing he wanted to tell Shiloh, but he had too. It was only fair. The raven opened his mouth to speak. "I..." he began. Before he could get out anything else though, the two could hear a sound from downstairs, as if it were timed to interrupt Casey before he said something he'd regret. It was a knock on the front door, and a very violent one at that. Instead of finishing his sentence, the raven closed his mouth and looked over at the entrance to Shiloh's bedroom.
The knock had made the little Russian nearly jump out of his skin, what if it was his auntie or something? He pulled from Casey’s clutches and made for the closet where his clothes were neatly folded, a pained groan escaped him and he nearly fell over right then and there. Of course he was still incredibly sore from the night before, from both the negatives and the...well… very high positives. “I’ll get t.” He squeaked, regaining his balance as he went for a sweater, and boxers.
"Hey, what about me?" Casey hissed in a whisper. He was still naked, but at least he had the blankets to cover that up. Still though, what if it was the boy's aunt. Parental figures usually aren't very happy when they find a naked boy in their son's bed.
The now half naked boy looked back over to Casey in a panic, mind racing as he thought for a moment before throwing a big t-shirt and Pikachu boxers at Casey. They were bound to fit since Casey had such a flat ass after all. He then waddled back over to Casey while hopping into his boxers, “If it’s Annie, I’ll just keep her clear of here, okay?” He whispered nervously before turning for the door. Whoever was knocking sure was persistent.
Casey quickly nodded and began to dress under the covers. The fabric was cold compared to the trapped heat under the blankets, and made Casey shiver a little. He remained there though. If it was the boy's aunt, he was sure it looked innocent enough now that he was dressed.
Shiloh had already tottered down the stairs and took before the big maple door with a stained glass circular window at the top, but he was too short to even bother. He actually felt really nervous now, what if Annie found out what they did? He didn't know how, but adults seemed to have some sort of sixth sense that just knew that you’re hiding something. He hesitated a moment before unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door, but it certainly wasn't Annie at the door.
Instead of Annie, there was a very angry looking brunette at the door. There were thick rimmed glasses propped upon his nose, and he was dressed kind of like a grandpa. This kid was the poster child of hipsters. It was kind of ironic though, because he and Shiloh were the same height, and they both had very child-like faces. "Excuse me," the hipster growled, "Is Casey Davis here?"
At first the boy was speechless, staring and looking like he were a deer in the headlights, he was SO relieved that it wasn't his auntie; but how did this... strange kid know that Casey was here? “Maybe… Why?” He finally replied, his accent got heavy when he was nervous.
The boy on the doorstep put his hands on his hips in a sassy manner. "Because I want to know why MY boyfriend is at YOUR house, you little slut." he snarled. The boyfriend part wasn't true though, at least not any more. Casey broke up with him just yesterday. THIS was boyfriend #1, the valedictorian with surgeons for parents.
“Your boyfriend..?” Shiloh repeated his face filling with distress as he glanced back towards to stairs briefly before shooting his eyes back to the hipster on his doorstep, a dirty look on his face. “You’re a liar!” He snapped.
"Oh yeah? If I'm such a liar, why do I have all these texts from Casey saying that he loves me? Huh? You keep your dirty hands off my boyfriend, or I'll see to it that your life is made hell, you fucking slut." Boyfriend #1 yelled. He was on the verge of punching Shiloh right in the snot locker he was so angry. Casey was his, and if he couldn't have the raven, no one could.
At this point, the pinky just about had it and gave Harrison a shove; even he was surprised that he would do something so rude. “Don’t threaten me, you...you stupid American” Shi sputtered, struggling for insults since he was normally a very well natured boy- but this boy wasn't so scary, not dressed like that.
The hipster stumbled back and fell down the steps, stiffly sitting up. "Why, I..." he began, slowly getting back to his feet. Before he could even step onto the first step though, Casey came barreling downstairs to see what the commotion was about. "Hey, hey! What the fuck is going on down here?" he called, running into the room where Shiloh stood.
Shiloh’s little hands were clenched into fists as he stood in the doorway with the little bit of snow blowing into the walkway onto his toes, he resembled a very pissed off cat who was just tossed off the couch. He didn't say anything though.
"What the fuck are you doing here with this... faggot?" the hipster yelled, obviously more than upset.
Casey sighed. A few seconds of silence passed before his answer came. "What part of "I'm breaking up with you don't you understand, Harrison?" he asked, his tone much calmer than anyone would expect, "It's over.” And with that, he shut the door in the hipster's face. Harrison banged on the door and yelled quite a bit as the raven draped his arm around Shiloh. "Just ignore him. He doesn't know how to let go." Casey sighed.