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Submitted on
August 19, 2012
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Dear Myself,

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 19, 2012, 8:28 PM
Dear myself,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds in women's clothing and I saw you pull the clothes off Donald Duck. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand That I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep Your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about a passionate interest for mice .


Good luck on your short-term leave from jail, Kyle.

Dear (person who tagged you)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .


___12____, -Your name-


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - F*** off now
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - With ease
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

CSS by choimander
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:iconllikeoavsine:
LlikeOaVsinE Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol
Reply
:iconornate-punk:
Ornate-Punk Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dear Myself,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me under a state of trance and I saw you insult Donald Duck. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that extreme makeover sucks. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about your passionate interest for mice .


Good luck on your short-term leave from jail, Kylee.

eheh this was fun XD
Reply
:iconrivertheseadragon:
Rivertheseadragon Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in your closet and I saw you sit on the crazy monk. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about eggplant-fetishisim.

Best regards, Jessica.
Reply
:icons-u-n-n-y-j:
s-u-n-n-y-j Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Ohhhh yes...
Yes Im doing this...
Reply
:iconscriddles:
Scriddles Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
Dear Waffles,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it that night in your apartment and I saw you carve your initials into my best friend. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm returning your old lottery coupons to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked Oprah Winfrey imitations .


Best Regards,
Stella


((So...apparently I am a man now... XD))
Reply
:iconnicia-3:
Nicia-3 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Dear Nobody.
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it That night At the Hare Krishna graduation and I saw you Sit on My father. I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning Your ring to you, but I'll keep Your neighbour Martin as a memory. You should also know that I Told my psychiatrist about A new life as a clone .

Go burn, Felicia
Reply
:icondinizee:
DiniZee Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok under the bus and I saw you sit on Bill Clinton’s best friend. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that santa doesn’t exist. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I never liked eggplant fetishism.


Good luck on your short-term leave from jail, Grace.
Reply
:iconpoeticdiscourse:
PoeticDiscourse Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Poor naked Donald Duck. 8T
Reply
:iconawela-mizuko:
Awela-Mizuko Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha yes!
Reply
:iconkillerconfettilick:
KillerConfettiLick Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
LOL I WAS SO CONFUSED THEN I LAUGHED
Reply
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